the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!