She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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