Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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