I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
