found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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