He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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