at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
