I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
