I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
