Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
