shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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