I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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