I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize