...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
