I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
