Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
