a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
