For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
