I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
