yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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