Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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