I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
