my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
