His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
