I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
