There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
