I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
