the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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