Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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