I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
