Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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