My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Small penises have feelings too.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
