I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
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