I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
