So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
