He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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