Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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