So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
