Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
