2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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