see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Come back. Shots need mouths.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize