I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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