First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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