when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
