I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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