I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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