once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
