I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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