Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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