so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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