High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
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