She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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