I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
