Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
