we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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