exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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