He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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