And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
