yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
