Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Barsexuality is the new black.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
