I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
