The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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