It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
