so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
