No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
