the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize